{"id":28,"date":"2018-05-14T20:52:01","date_gmt":"2018-05-14T20:52:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.montclair.edu\/alcohol-drugs\/?page_id=28"},"modified":"2018-05-14T20:52:01","modified_gmt":"2018-05-14T20:52:01","slug":"helping-others","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.montclair.edu\/alcohol-drugs\/resources\/helping-others\/","title":{"rendered":"Helping Others"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It is important to understand that changing a behavior, whether it is beginning an exercise program or quitting an addiction, is not about will power or how much the person cares about you. Even if a person acknowledges that there is a problem, they may not be able or willing to change as quickly as you\u2019d like. Keep in mind that substance-related habits, including alcohol, may be hard to end or control.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Tips To Help Start A Conversation<\/strong><\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>Wait until the person is sober and no longer under the influence to begin a conversation.<\/li>\n<li>Express your concern about their use. Be tactful, but not too polite.<\/li>\n<li>Address how their substance use is affecting your relationship with them.<\/li>\n<li>Avoid lectures, blaming, bribes or verbal attacks.<\/li>\n<li>Let them know that you dislike their behavior, not them as a person.<\/li>\n<li>Insist that they take responsibility for their actions.<\/li>\n<li>Do not protect them by covering up for their behaviors. This will only enable your friend to continue the behavior.<\/li>\n<li>Understand that there may be defensiveness and that it is rooted in fear of facing their problem, not you.<\/li>\n<li>Set clear guidelines of what you expect. For example, you no longer are comfortable with alcohol being present in your room or apartment.<\/li>\n<li>Have some campus or community resources available and ready such as a local support group or <a href=\"http:\/\/www.montclair.edu\/counseling-and-psychological-services\/\">Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS)<\/a>.<\/li>\n<li>Plan activities together that do not involve alcohol or other substances and limit your own drinking when you are around your friend.<\/li>\n<li>Remain supportive and acknowledge even the small steps your friend has taken to change their behavior.<\/li>\n<li>Understand that relapse, or steps backward, are often part of the process.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It is important to understand that changing a behavior, whether it is beginning an exercise program or quitting an addiction, is not about will power or how much the person cares about you. Even if a person acknowledges that there is a problem, they may not be able or willing to change as quickly as [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":14,"parent":59,"menu_order":2,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-28","page","type-page","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.montclair.edu\/alcohol-drugs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/28","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.montclair.edu\/alcohol-drugs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.montclair.edu\/alcohol-drugs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.montclair.edu\/alcohol-drugs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/14"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.montclair.edu\/alcohol-drugs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=28"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.montclair.edu\/alcohol-drugs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/28\/revisions"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.montclair.edu\/alcohol-drugs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/59"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.montclair.edu\/alcohol-drugs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.montclair.edu\/alcohol-drugs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=28"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}